Use your words

Read the post

“Use your words.”

We say it all the time. But what if they don’t have the words yet? When a preschooler grabs, hits, screams, cries, or melts down, telling them to “use their words” doesn’t actually teach them which words to use.

And when emotions are big, accessing language can be even harder. Instead of demanding language in the hardest moment, give them the language.

“You wanted a turn. You can say, ‘Can I have it when you’re done?’” “You didn’t like that. You can say, ‘Stop. I don’t like that.’” “You need help. You can say, ‘Help me, please.’”

And don’t wait for conflict to teach it.

Model these phrases during play. Practice them when children are calm. Use visuals to give emotions and needs a name. Role-play common classroom problems.

Then, when the hard moment comes, those words are already familiar.

Language is a skill. And skills need to be taught before we can expect children to use them.